Divorce: After 13 years of Marriage, New beginnings.

By S. Blackburn

Divorced?  Needing a step by step plan that works? Are you tired of the circle game; the idea that they will come back, or maybe they will miss me? Clear that crap out of your head because that is not the case. Ya sure they might miss that pancake on Saturday Mornings or the way you laid their clothes out but please to think for one minute they are going to regret leaving you is absurd. The line was drawn in the sand and you have now crossed over it; divorce papers are signed and finalized. Get your head out of the sand and start seeing the bigger picture, yourself!

That is correct, it is your time to bloom and don't let that doubt in your head tell you otherwise. You have another chance at getting this life into something more than passay. Get your notebook, ipad or smartphone out let us explore that bucket list! You heard me correct, it is
now time to get you advancing on your future in this life, not the next time around. Get up get out there and experience what you were meant to experience. Start looking to the journeys ahead and leave the past where it lays.

Your list is a to do list, starting now! Don't waste another minute thinking about things that cannot be changed, get out there and change yourself. Experience the wild, crazy ideas you had before marriage settled you down. Find the you that has been masked into an "us" and get living "you" again. Don't tell me there is no "you"; because that is crap! It was "you" that attracted the "us" in the beginning so put yourself back together either it be yoga, dance, singing, instrumental or something else that inspires you to make a one time appearance every once in a blue moon and get on with it. Live for NOW; Not LATER!

We are not getting any younger, hate to bust your bubble, time is of the essence. Retire or take a sabbatical, either way get on with it before time has caught up to you and your kids have placed you in a group home or worse; they take your license leaving you stranded somewhere you never meant to be in the first place. Take a chance on you for a change, the best investment you can ever not efford to make!

Divorce: After 13 years of Marriage, What Now?

What now? Right, we worked hard on that marriage keeping yourself and others from falling apart, you created a world around the family what now? Relax take a breather and start creating an inspirational plan to find you once again. It is not going to happen overnight but it will take time and motivation but is well worth it in the end.

After a long 12 year marriage came to a halt in 2012, I was left feeling relief not knowing if that was a good thing or an end to a series of bad decision making. Relief knowing now I can do what I feel is right; not having to constantly question my ideas or opinions with my husband at tow. His opinions not being the focus of my life anymore, gave me a sense of renewed freedom. An opening in a door I once knew very well.

My divorce took its time as all good divorces do; with separation of things; than arguing about things. In the end I let go! I gave everything up to someone who decided last minute that a divorce wasn't the idea he originally asked for. "Grass isn't always greener on the other side; it also takes hard work", work he wasn't willing to put effort into. Washing my hands of it, I started focusing on my new self and what that should look like. Where was I going to live, my furniture, and what car is for my new lifestyle? My kids are older;  how are they going to adjust? What should I do to help ease the burden, I may have placed on them during the divorce. How am I going to make it on my own?

Being in a marriage for any amount of time, fuses bonds that start to mimic the other persons personalities and traits. More and more the two become one, that ever so popular infinity knot during the matrimonial ceremony becomes a weight you both share. Over a long period of time, you become disconnected with what made you YOU. Not knowing how to break away from the marital bonds at first most of use stumble around like we are on one leg. It took you this long to form a bond; it's going to take you just as long or longer to figure out a common mutual break in the thread of that knot you formed with the other person. One that will give you back what you brought into the relationship in the beginning.

Think back to that first year of marriage, it was hard but it made you more you than any other time before; and enforced the bonds that bind a real relationships. That foundation required time, patience and motivation, so will this new journey. Call it an Enlightenment period if you want, take what you have learned and make it the foundation of this new journey.
Stop stressing by letting go of things you have no control over. At the end of every divorce you have a decree in that decree is guidelines that outline your divorce, use it to help build a better foundation to launch off of; especially if you have children involved.

Make a plan, stick to it and you will launch successfully into a lifestyle you deserve. One step at a time.