A Conscious Awakening AKA Mom

Nothing like waking up one morning realizing you have no control over the discussions your offspring make in their lives anymore, is horrifying and relieving all at once.

Being a mother has been a privileged and an honor, I cannot account for any time in my life up to now that I have not wanted to hear them play, watch them grow and prey for their guidance on a true path for Gaia. The next chapter in my story has begun with the sounds of my son's latest vision of him start a new career path within the US Army. As I cannot tell you the importance is it to be a citizen of a country with many changing faces in the past and soon near future, it is important to express the loyalty of a mother to her first born with whom she shares a strong family name. On the other side of my mind, seeing the world as my older eyes have, having known the wisdom of politics over many years of presidents, I cannot only hope his path is honorable and his mind is ready to embrace a soldiers life.

As a priestess of the old pagan Earth Guardian  faith, we are taught to find our purpose embrace it and once our path is saturated with the truth of our purpose we will, in a sense, be closer to completion. My son, the light in my life, was taught many things throughout his young life for example no matter how many times you are knocked down laugh. To admit defeat is not in our path but to find a way is morally except-able in all matters. We all have a purpose, a soul mate, and must understand that love is a word form of comfort for our human counter parts. Cherish each experience, Adore everything, and worship our path on Gaia for as long as possible. The last an final teachings is; Life is recycled if taken by our own hand; to make each life worthy of fulfillment for it is precious to all; endurance is needed to fulfill this path. We have to endure a lot at the hands of others and sometimes ourselves but you cherish what was learned and move on, never admitting defeat. Live long, live free, live strong:)

May my sunshine be bright, may my Oceans be strong, may my stars glow throughout the night and the moon shine over them each and every night:)


For-Ever With You I shall always be... FEWY

Becoming Just Mom

Becoming a mother of three very strong minded children was and is a true blessing. Throughout the years as I have watched them grow,  they have become the best of me.
Having a daughter to devote my experiences to was a life goal that came not much after her brother in 2000, them being only a year apart my mind had hoped they would become best friends. Little did I realize my second son, I lovingly call my Ocean, wouldn't want anything to do with his new born sister. However, her older brother, I lovingly named my Sunshine, adored her. The two of them are really close and look identical with their brown hair and deep dark honey eyes. With my sunshine away, my daughter has become the Diva Child, dramatic in every way possible for a teenager to be now a days. This chapter of my life started last summer when she wished to move to her dad's and his girlfriends home only 10 minutes from our front door. This only lasted the summer months as the school came full term; back home she was every night and weekends out with friends.

To date, she is trying out for the modeling talent in the neighboring city. Being excited for her looking at different options after high school only to be told  I can not come with her shopping for new out fits and she wants to go with friends instead because I am too bossy which I think she meant to say I am too pushy. It felt like a stab but no different then my oldest son going off making a career choice, I put my feelings aside. What is the point in raising them if we under mind or manage their whole life before they even get to fly. Later that evening I found myself barely able to sleep realizing I am no longer needed or maybe not so much needed. That Finally I can start looking at my future, start planning my vacations, outings, or just the rest of my life. After all I have place my life on hold to raise three amazing child none that I will ever regret the time lost for they have become my world. Knowing that, I now realize that I am having to let go or more so loosen my grip and allow them to show me what wonderful people I have had the pleasure to raise.

It hurts, this awakening as they all will send my mind spinning with new alertness of my own life. May theirs be as fulfilling and rewarding as my own was and is going to be as I finish polishing up my last half of my life with my new husband.

May their ears be tuned to their spirit guides and their feet be bound to their path.

Fewy,
G 

A Creator Called Mom

To decide to create a life is an important part of humanity. We choose to form relationships that support one another's needs and dreams. While doing so, our minds connect with our chosen partners in ways that stump science and parents alike. Even the rebellious love stories have a time stamp connection.

To make another can come as a surprise or a promise. The concept on which creating life is simple enough to understand but never respected enough to cherish the act itself. Way too many of us are single parenting; that is shows our lack of responsibility for those we chose to create in our wake. Those little creations are given false hope, false securities, and false sense if responsibility. Only one is expected to carry such a task as rearing a new creation of themselves. It is difficult to be a responsible parent with two holding the rings much less one. Stronger are those who welcome the challenge with their own creators in the ring to give guidance and support. Stronger still are those who know the task at hand and look for other more complex options for their little creation, one with their moral values at hand and a good book in the other. What is said of those whose surprise was not wished for because they also did not respect the connection that was given at times others would say was, "well spent."  Each connection we choose to make is needing of the respect it should not have to ask for. Nor should the little creation ask for the respect once it is born. These are given at the time of indulgence and transformation at the time of the connection. Each connection has a feeling of need, want  and desire, Why not Cherish? If you cannot Cherish that space in time that you chose to connect, that time which you needed to feel, love, and want to become intimate; then why? Why not walk away? Why not find another responsible connection to insure your not creating, not abandoning, not harming another human creator.

So many faces I see, walking a path alone hoping they are being responsible enough. Why? Why not make sure you are cherished before connections are made, feelings are in place, and responsibilities are met? Have we as the creators lost our own dignity? Our own respect within human minds? Maybe this line of thinking is too complex for humanity. Maybe we should all stop.

Do humans realize what the end product is? Look around inside your towns and see the ones left behind. The homeless traumatized children who walk among the shadows, those that society has cast aside as drug addicts.  Look at them, walk alongside them, as I have listening to grievances and dashed dreams, for what? Because the idea of becoming a parent is a lot different then parenting itself.

Children that having just graduated decided to have a child, or worse yet the young have chosen to become pregnant like their mothers before them and those before them, creating a cycle that never stops. Keeps producing the problem society meets today with reluctant arms, through Job & Family Services. Then they want to feel entitled in life, reaching for the promises ignorant parents that have chosen to stop parenting gave them in a time of weakness. Really?

By fixing the problem, we as a society have to acknowledge that there is a problem. I would think looking at our youth, homeless, and the stillness of the towne.

Becoming Older Mom

Becoming a mother to three wonderful children is hard especially when they are off living their own lives. What to do with our new spare time?

The best gifts are the ones not asked for, not mentioned, or purchased for ourselves. Children in most cases are just that. Those little surprises while you are champion threw morning sickness. Or the time when you realize you are not ill from an illness but missed a few periods due to careless drinking and random parties. No planning took place in my life. The blessings are all natural and worth spending half my life managing, plays, concerts, auditions, applications, photo misses and holiday treats. It is not how fast they grow but how they grow. Long nights of cooking for classroom parties or planning those next birthday gifts months ahead knowing you don't make that kind of money to get all those wishful presents, even several essays over science or math homework. All of this time spent, are memories each mother, creator, has logged in the farthest points of recall; none of which are easily given up nor exchanged.

Mothers are crafty at overlooking Holidays that contain gifts for them; Mother's Day, Yule, etc... We know that no such gift will come either due to lack of finances or knowledge. Forgetting is the easiest things our little angels can do; innocently most likely as children. We don't emphasize the importance of those gifts because we are MOM.  We endure the hardships making them fun; like playing hide and seek when the electric bill was not paid or Jack and Jill with buckets of water when the well went out. Camping on days we find ourselves homeless during the summer months. The countless fails as adults as parents we have are not planned, but the memories of the good times that formed out of the hardships of our life are more than any mother can wish for in any gift given.

Now while my teenagers come of age and run after their own lives full of endless moments of choices good or bad; but we, as mothers, stand by the sidelines awaiting that fail or glory. Awaiting that crash or success that will have us running to their sides with arms open and ready to take on any wolf at their door or award that they are honored for.

Are we truly that lost in our own lives? Does our world really revolve around those little creations we call our cherished ones? Probably. Maybe. Mine absolutely, that is way I needed a reminder that I am just as important: in comes Husband #2, young love of my life that makes me think of us now first. Yes it is hard, very hard not to want to run after them catching all that gold or backslash that comes with living. The fact is we cannot live through them; we need to pick up where we left off and get our own life fulfilled.

I just recently started my bucket list, hitting it hard. This upcoming year will be spent on the west coast: Yellowstone, Montana, and finally Washington.

To fulfill our own lives is very important, we show our children how to finish a lifetime of loving them. We see ourselves as the best parents by how our children have accomplished themselves now we need to be our best selves. Live our best lives and finish well into our 90's.
Hoping to become the greatest grandmother, once they start shouting out my grandchildren, they have ever seen. Happy to see me pulling up into the driveway, once a year and video chats when they feel like it. I love my kids and I know they do not need an old lady humming around after them telling them how to become parents. I am sure they can do that on their own, more grandparents need to take that advice!

I refuse to be the "in  law" that my daughter in laws wish would disappear into the holiday scenery. They will respect my distance while I respect their space. I raised wonderful children now I have faith that they have chosen their better halves:) I have faith in them so they have faith in themselves. FEWY
  
I wish not to become the burden in my later years, I strive to become the leader for those who wish the same in theirs. Live, Love, explore and be free.