Becoming Just Mom

Becoming a mother of three very strong minded children was and is a true blessing. Throughout the years as I have watched them grow,  they have become the best of me.
Having a daughter to devote my experiences to was a life goal that came not much after her brother in 2000, them being only a year apart my mind had hoped they would become best friends. Little did I realize my second son, I lovingly call my Ocean, wouldn't want anything to do with his new born sister. However, her older brother, I lovingly named my Sunshine, adored her. The two of them are really close and look identical with their brown hair and deep dark honey eyes. With my sunshine away, my daughter has become the Diva Child, dramatic in every way possible for a teenager to be now a days. This chapter of my life started last summer when she wished to move to her dad's and his girlfriends home only 10 minutes from our front door. This only lasted the summer months as the school came full term; back home she was every night and weekends out with friends.

To date, she is trying out for the modeling talent in the neighboring city. Being excited for her looking at different options after high school only to be told  I can not come with her shopping for new out fits and she wants to go with friends instead because I am too bossy which I think she meant to say I am too pushy. It felt like a stab but no different then my oldest son going off making a career choice, I put my feelings aside. What is the point in raising them if we under mind or manage their whole life before they even get to fly. Later that evening I found myself barely able to sleep realizing I am no longer needed or maybe not so much needed. That Finally I can start looking at my future, start planning my vacations, outings, or just the rest of my life. After all I have place my life on hold to raise three amazing child none that I will ever regret the time lost for they have become my world. Knowing that, I now realize that I am having to let go or more so loosen my grip and allow them to show me what wonderful people I have had the pleasure to raise.

It hurts, this awakening as they all will send my mind spinning with new alertness of my own life. May theirs be as fulfilling and rewarding as my own was and is going to be as I finish polishing up my last half of my life with my new husband.

May their ears be tuned to their spirit guides and their feet be bound to their path.

Fewy,
G