Becoming Older Mom

Becoming a mother to three wonderful children is hard especially when they are off living their own lives. What to do with our new spare time?

The best gifts are the ones not asked for, not mentioned, or purchased for ourselves. Children in most cases are just that. Those little surprises while you are champion threw morning sickness. Or the time when you realize you are not ill from an illness but missed a few periods due to careless drinking and random parties. No planning took place in my life. The blessings are all natural and worth spending half my life managing, plays, concerts, auditions, applications, photo misses and holiday treats. It is not how fast they grow but how they grow. Long nights of cooking for classroom parties or planning those next birthday gifts months ahead knowing you don't make that kind of money to get all those wishful presents, even several essays over science or math homework. All of this time spent, are memories each mother, creator, has logged in the farthest points of recall; none of which are easily given up nor exchanged.

Mothers are crafty at overlooking Holidays that contain gifts for them; Mother's Day, Yule, etc... We know that no such gift will come either due to lack of finances or knowledge. Forgetting is the easiest things our little angels can do; innocently most likely as children. We don't emphasize the importance of those gifts because we are MOM.  We endure the hardships making them fun; like playing hide and seek when the electric bill was not paid or Jack and Jill with buckets of water when the well went out. Camping on days we find ourselves homeless during the summer months. The countless fails as adults as parents we have are not planned, but the memories of the good times that formed out of the hardships of our life are more than any mother can wish for in any gift given.

Now while my teenagers come of age and run after their own lives full of endless moments of choices good or bad; but we, as mothers, stand by the sidelines awaiting that fail or glory. Awaiting that crash or success that will have us running to their sides with arms open and ready to take on any wolf at their door or award that they are honored for.

Are we truly that lost in our own lives? Does our world really revolve around those little creations we call our cherished ones? Probably. Maybe. Mine absolutely, that is way I needed a reminder that I am just as important: in comes Husband #2, young love of my life that makes me think of us now first. Yes it is hard, very hard not to want to run after them catching all that gold or backslash that comes with living. The fact is we cannot live through them; we need to pick up where we left off and get our own life fulfilled.

I just recently started my bucket list, hitting it hard. This upcoming year will be spent on the west coast: Yellowstone, Montana, and finally Washington.

To fulfill our own lives is very important, we show our children how to finish a lifetime of loving them. We see ourselves as the best parents by how our children have accomplished themselves now we need to be our best selves. Live our best lives and finish well into our 90's.
Hoping to become the greatest grandmother, once they start shouting out my grandchildren, they have ever seen. Happy to see me pulling up into the driveway, once a year and video chats when they feel like it. I love my kids and I know they do not need an old lady humming around after them telling them how to become parents. I am sure they can do that on their own, more grandparents need to take that advice!

I refuse to be the "in  law" that my daughter in laws wish would disappear into the holiday scenery. They will respect my distance while I respect their space. I raised wonderful children now I have faith that they have chosen their better halves:) I have faith in them so they have faith in themselves. FEWY
  
I wish not to become the burden in my later years, I strive to become the leader for those who wish the same in theirs. Live, Love, explore and be free.